This morning I was sitting outside of the courtroom next to a man and woman who were waiting to be officially divorced by the Judge. I knew this because their conversation clearly discussed exchanges and transactions associated with divorce (e.g. visit to Secretary of State to transfer title of vehicles and discussions about parenting time exchanges and their children). However, had I not heard the actual details of the conversation and only focused on the tone, non-verbal communication, and facial expressions of the people, I would have thought they were best friends discussing their latest adventures in life together. The amount of respect these individuals had for one another was fascinating and refreshing. I knew right away the couple had to have utilized the collaborative practice for their divorce, or at least mediation.

Sure enough, once in the courtroom, it was made clear to me that they did in fact utilize collaborative divorce attorneys and, based on what I observed, their children’s future is in good hands even with separated parents. The power of collaborating through your divorce process never ceases to amaze me when you observe the benefits firsthand. These individuals committed to a process that focused on quality solutions. They were able to resolve issues with one another in a manner that did not damage their children. It’s amazing to think about the future you can create for your family when respect and honesty are at the forefront of a process and parties are able to directly participate in finding solutions. The process is still likely to involve intense discussions and disagreements; however, when emotions are navigated through a calm and honest atmosphere, solutions can be found and relationships can be restructured and repaired. Had the parties immediately resorted to filing motions and planning attacks against one another in the courtroom when divorce discussions got hard, I’m sure I would have been listening to a much different conversation in the court hallway this morning.

If you are considering divorce and think the collaborative practice might be a good option for your family, please do not hesitate to contact me for more information. Educate yourself on the different methods for handling a divorce and if it is at all possible to salvage respect with your spouse and protect your children from the often damaging effects of divorce, you should at least find out more.

Pospiech Family Law & Mediation, PLLC is focused on finding resolutions that help your family move forward. Attorney Jessica L. Pospiech provides a calming influence and gives her clients the care and attention that is so necessary for families facing difficult and emotional circumstances. Ms. Pospiech ensures that she is readily available for her clients’ questions and concerns. Please do not hesitate to reach out.

P: (734) 531-8554

E: jessica@mifamilylawfirm.com

Whether you’ve personally been through a divorce or not, I’m sure there are many words that come to mind when you hear the “D” word: fear, high conflict, damaged children, stress, blindsided, misunderstood, disrespect, etc. The list goes on and on.

Does the divorce process HAVE to generate fear and negative feelings? Absolutely not. More and more divorcing couples are starting to realize that, while divorce will always remain an emotional and life-changing event, it does not have to destroy a family. A Collaborative Divorce completely changes how a family proceeds through their divorce. This process takes away the threat of Court and provides a safer and less stressful environment for resolving conflict. This safe environment involves a series of meetings guided by collaboratively trained professionals including lawyers, mental health professionals, child specialists, and financial advisers to negotiate settlement. The key to a Collaborative Divorce is the profound respect provided to both parties and their interests/values, as well as the professional support to manage the emotional landscape. If children are involved, parties have the ability to write the story of their children’s divorce and protect them from the damaging effects of high conflict.

Choosing the collaborative process does not mean that the parties are walking into the divorce 100% agreeable on all terms. Emotions can still be high, conflicts exist, and there are often deep feelings of hurt and distrust. However, the good news is that this process will deal with the hurt and conflict in a respectful manner, allowing the parties to address their emotions with the help of a divorce coach. Imagine being intimately involved in crafting creative solutions for your family and finding some closure to the pain you feel during the divorce process. THAT is what helps a family positively restructure post-divorce. THAT is what diffuses fear of the unknown and endless Court battles in the future which often lead to less closure and increased conflict. When parties are in control of the settlement process, they understand and appreciate the intricate details of their agreement and can move forward accordingly.

The most important thing to understand is that YOU HAVE OPTIONS. Make sure you contact an attorney who will describe the various divorce options available to you and your spouse – i.e. litigation, mediation, arbitration, or Collaborative Divorce. The reality is that only about 2% of divorce cases actually go to trial, so give yourself the ability to dictate the tone of your divorce and do not assume that it has to be a litigious Court battle based on conflicting positions.

P: (734) 531-8554

E: jessica@mifamilylawfirm.com

Divorcing Couple Mistaken for Best Friends

Collaborative Divorce Positively Restructures Families, Protects Children, and Diffuses Fear of the Unknown