I had the opportunity to speak with some adults who were children of a divorce. A common theme that was reflected on was the number of changes the individual experienced after their parents' divorce. The adults that I spoke with remember feeling as if they weren't always the #1 priority in their parents' lives during and immediately after the divorce. For example, one person commented that they felt one of their parents was more interested in finding a new romantic partner than spending quality time with the children. The individual, as a child, still needed time to wrap her head around the idea that her parents were divorced, let alone start to meet potential stepparents. While it's certainly not wrong or uncommon for individuals to move on romantically after a divorce, timing can mean everything when children are involved. Perhaps the adult feels ready to date, but the child may not be ready to meet anyone new right away. It's important to be extra sensitive to children's feelings during and after the divorce and to make sure you're checking in on them often. Of course, every child is different - age, maturity, and level of conflict during the divorce, can all play a role in how families restructure.

A common phrase is that "children are resilient." Even if that is true, it's important to stay in tune with your children's feelings. The children may "seem" to be doing "fine" but there might be deeper issues or feelings that are not being addressed. It's important to recognize when it might be beneficial to enroll children in counseling to help them cope with all of the changes and the stress of the divorce. In the Collaborative Divorce Process, neutral child specialists can be retained to meet with the children and find out how they are handling the divorce and to learn what the children would like to see happen. There are other methods and professionals to help the children during the divorce process, as well, and you should meet with an attorney to discuss these options.

Pospiech Family Law & Mediation, PLLC is focused on finding resolutions that help your family move forward. Attorney Jessica L. Pospiech provides a calming influence and gives her clients the care and attention that is so necessary for families facing difficult and emotional circumstances. Ms. Pospiech ensures that she is readily available for her clients’ questions and concerns. Please do not hesitate to reach out.

P: (734) 531-8554

E: jessica@mifamilylawfirm.com